Food economics

In my last blog....I know it’s been a long break…but there is a lot happening at my end! I hope to be more regular now! Ok my last blog! I had mentioned about healthy food habits and mentioned about the goodie bowl consisting mostly of dry fruits. Well to a certain extent most of the dried fruits are costly and in most families, it might not even feature on regular grocery lists, except when celebrations or festivities are round the corner. Having lived across geographies with baby A I realized that world over, the seemingly costly food, is actually not so. Am putting across my points, which have worked well for me. Hope all of you find it useful too!

1.       Organic fruits and vegetables: Organic comes at a higher price, any organic tag seems fancy! But is it really so? Consider buying fruits and vegetables from a regular grocery store, without labels about their GMO status, it’s like buying poison for your family in small quantities! Am not being dramatic, well it’s in a way true, its stuff designed to grow bigger, brighter and last longer. Well, our bodies are not designed to consume such stuff, am not even ready to call it real vegetables and fruits, because they are not! Buy organic and be sure that it’s the right fuel designed for your beautiful bodies.

2.       Dry fruits: If you keep a 6 month log of how much you spend on snacks and junk food and then compare the prices with dry fruits, you will realize that these nutrient dense dry fruits are so much more economical than your empty calorie snacks. Also be experimental about your dry fruits, they can be sun dried tomatoes, Brazil nuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds! All nutrient dense goodies, which your munchkins will happily eat, no need for vitamin chews, these are great natural alternatives to them!

3.       Full fat milk, ghee, and yogurt: Well all you weight watchers don’t panic! For children the good fat comes from these sources! The good fats are always good! Than sneaking in unknown oily foods, feed the belly with the real stuff and notice that you are not growing fat but fit! Never inculcate the fear of foods in children, if they grow up with reasonable preferences, respect them but never label foods unhealthy without researching them! The first three years of a child, means continuous nourishment from good fats for the myelin sheath of the brain. Also ghee aids digestion and regular bowel movement. You can also try ghee in milk as a mild laxative for children with irregular bowel movement.

4.       Greens everywhere: Green leafy vegetables can be fun, try growing your own leafy veggies on the kitchen counter, small garden patch or visit a farm nearby! Once the children discover fun in the whole process, they will be eager to explore and eat these vegetables! Running around on green grass, rolling down the small hillock all is fun! You can join them in the fun too! Welcome greens in your life and see how your kids and you remain in the pink of health! (Yikes! Word play gone too far! :P) but still a valid point!

5.       Creative sprouts: If city life offers you no green patches, well you can always have some fun sprouting around the house! All pulses are such fun to soak and watch them sprout! The mung beans, moth beans or horse gram! Those tiny sprouts will make your kids all excited am sure if you involve them in the whole process! All those living in the colder climes, worry not! Just soak the pulses longer and then transfer them to a glass bowl, cover them n place them overnight in the oven with just its lights on! That heat is enough for our lil buddies to sprout forth their delicious goodness!

6.       Organic sweetness: well move over muffins and pastries! We have the raw organic honey here! Some organic maple syrup on those waffles or crepes! Sweet potato chips, pumpkin porridge? Well just get more creative and seek sweetness from nature! Its way healthier than your regular sugar! Try molasses sugar, jaggery as replacement for sugar in your recipes and notice your guilt just slide away!

Well these are some fundamental changes for your grocery lists mommies and daddies! But what if the dainty organic stuff burns a hole in your pockets! No it won’t! This is how it works! Once you are replacing the unhealthy foods with healthier choices, you are nourishing your body for a better lifestyle. That means less visits to the doctor, lesser allergies and greater immunity. That means savings! Yeah have you ever considered the doctor visits and medication as grocery expenses! I mean just think of it from this point of view and realize that we end up eating medication instead of nourishing food! Every time our babies look little worn or weak, we insist that the doctor prescribe us dietary supplements and tonics instead of inculcating healthy eating habits in our children!

We have to look not at their current height, weight and sicknesses but way beyond into the future, where they have to lead hectic adult lives, if they inherit a healthy body, correct and balanced food nourishment base, am sure they will learn to make healthier food choices through their entire lives. That means all the effort spent in searching and buying local, organic food will become a lifelong investment in health and wellness for your family. Now can you put a price to that joy?

And finally I would suggest, don’t throw out all your grocery suspecting it to be bad, just use it up and selectively replace it with better choices, slowly the transition will be complete. After all we all are earning and working towards having a healthier and better life, so make some positive changes today!

Encouraging healthy food habits in children

‘‘My Sweetu eats only burgers and pizzas and keeps sipping cola! Such first world choices!’’

“My Princess eats everything like French fries, aloo subji and also aloo palak! Imagine! Such healthy choices no!”

“My Sonny boy eats green beans but only after having his share of chocolate cereal and juice! Am very particular about his diet you see!”

I can really go on! These are not concoctions from my imagination, but actual quotes by parents I know! I shudder each time I hear such phrases, all full of praise for the child! I had cousins who ate only potatoes for lunch dinner each day just because that is the only ‘subji’ they liked!

After having baby A I realized what important responsibility has been entrusted up on us new parents, of bringing up a child! Nurturing and nourishing their brains, bodies and souls!

Am sharing a couple of delightful yet effective measures for ensuring that your child eats the right stuff and the healthiest stuff!

1.       Read all labels: In today’s hectic times, convenience foods are really dominating all grocery lists, world over. It’s very tempting for young mothers to grab ready to eat food packets and feed their families in a jiffy. What we need to be aware of is the quality of ingredients that go in to making these food products. A simple rule of the thumb is if you begin reading the ingredient list and it exceeds more than 5 chemical sounding names of items you do not know, well shun it! There is a chemical storm brewing in it! Beware especially of the healthy sounding choices like fully natural, fat free, for fit and healthy etc More often than not these are misguiding appendages used to attract customers. A good example would be fruit juices. If a pomegranate juice packet’s ingredient list begins with apple juice, filtered water, corn syrup, sugar…well you know well for yourself that ITS NOT what you seek! Simple!

2.       Buy smart to eat smart: We often hear parents complaining that the child eats only a particular brand of junk food, or particular type of unhealthy food, pray! May I ask who fed this to the child for the first time! I know parents who routinely feed their kids with junk food and then rue the fact that they cannot get them to eat home cooked meals! Make grocery lists beforehand, now a days the grocery apps make life so simple! Add a variety of vegetables and fruits to the list, cut down on processed foods and make healthier choices as a family.

Once you have cleared your own home of all tempting junk, the children are obviously less tempted to make unhealthy choices.

3.       Homemade treats: Internet is such a boon for all time pressed parents, with a little planning and creativity, homemade treats can be prepared and stored in advance. Be it whole wheat cookies, chocolates, fruit yogurts, preserves! Even homemade ice cream tubs and kale chips will ensure smart and healthy snacking options for your family. If pressed for time, chop a few cucumbers and carrots and boil a few corn cobs, voila snack is ready!

4.       Kiddie chefs: Involve the children, even toddlers in the whole process of cooking, be it just playing with some dough, to actually peeling veggies, to cutting out cookies, once children witness the fun in cooking, they will look forward to eating their own creation! Also across genders it is such a wonderful life-skill that children learn, to feed themselves and make healthier choices.

5.       Goodie bowl: In all rush, how to ensure complete nourishment for the children each and every day? A simple idea is to fill out bowls for each child at home, even adults can have their own bowls. Small bowls filled with 2 almonds, 2 cashew nuts, few raisins, jaggery, dried fig and a walnut. You can soak all the dried fruits overnight and keep the lump of jaggery in another plate separately. Throughout the day, the children can keep munching on these goodies as and when they wish to! The only rule is to finish the goodie bowl before dinner. You can create variations by adding dates, pecans or even dried apricots. The seemingly costly food is actually cost effective, more on this in the next blog!

6.       First mover’s advantage: As parents, we have to be proactively offering healthier choices to our babies from their birth, be it breast milk, full fat ghee, lesser grains, more protein rich food, more leafy vegetables, fruits and real food! After all we are what we eat, so offer real food to your child, and nurture a real human being!

There are various diets and health trends which we adults tend to ape at various times in our lives. But if we create a healthy frame-work of food and exercise for our family, especially young ones, we are helping them immensely for their entire life. Avoid over processed foods, high sugar content and complex chemical laden products. We may leave a huge inheritance for the child, but bestowing a child with positive body image, healthy food choices and balanced body n mind, will indeed be the greatest gift ever! Happy parenting!

Making a choice

After a long hiatus I have returned to the blogosphere for good! J It feels nice to be back to that happy space, it feels home!

I have been away trying to recreate a level playing field for myself, shall continue to do so, n now back to what we all do best, talking about childcare.

Soon, very soon, Baby A turns 2! And boy am I excited?? Sure as hell! I am! Beyond the mythical ‘’terrible twos’’ I am eagerly looking forward to see my baby grow!

After baby A turned 18 months old, I noticed a few significant changes in her! Her personality was slowly emerging. Each trait was showing eager signs of growing much like young saplings. I realized I have to nurture a few habits and traits and weed out a few unpleasant ones and that pretty much is like gardening. Most young parents face this time, when children become increasingly independent yet at the same time, increasing clingy to their parents. When such a time arrives, along come whining, crankiness, bouts of temper tantrums and absolute stubborn behavior! Grocery aisles become nightmares, social occasions and long flights are some terrible dream come true for most parents. The cute coy baby is now an independent person with extreme ambitions and severe limitations. Parents also take time to realize and realign themselves to this change.

When baby A showed signs of being independent, I was happy and was keen on playing along on these lines. I did a few things which am sharing here.

1.       Walk the talk baby! When your child takes her first few steps, each parent is thrilled beyond measure, always encouraging the child to walk, take a few more steps. Within a few months the child begins to walk and run, then suddenly the ever encouraging parent is tightly holding the child’s hand, least she runs away! This adult behavior is extremely confusing for children! What we need to do here is, set in a few fun rules, when you walk on black road or the road where cars run, hold momma’s hand. And in parks and gardens you can run by yourself. Same applies while teaching the child how to walk and also after the child walks independently. So there is some sensible continuation to your demands on the child. Do not worry about your child soiling her clothes, or falling down when running around in the gardens or safe areas. That is how she will learn to depend on herself, which is very vital, literally and figuratively as well.

2.       Making choices: Mothers often see smartly dressed kids and feel embarrassed about their child’s messy dress. Well, as much the baby was a cute doll to be dressed up as a child, once the child is about an age where she begins expressing her likes, dislikes and feelings, it will be very important to slowly encourage to child to decide. Yes! never underestimate a child, her decision making power and ability. It is the beginning of a lifelong task, of making choices. Tend to this sapling well, you want it to grow and blossom! Ask your toddler’s opinion about the dress she wants to wear, about the food she wants to eat and be supportive about her choices. Baby A recently wore snow boots over a full sleeved black shirt n jeans on a very warm day! Well my first reaction was protest, but I realized that she now needs to learn the consequences of the choices she makes. She must have been really hot and sweaty that day in school but now she chooses wisely and picks cute shorts and summer dresses. Now the trick here is to present the child with sensible choices. That is how easy you can make for your child, but do not dump your choices on the child after a certain age, n no its not 21! Same goes for food, if your child chooses to eat less or nothing at a particular meal time, its ok to go hungry than dissolve the meal in tears and unnecessary stress for the parent. And going hungry is not any imposed punishment for the child, it’s a choice she made. Then abide by her choice because she is learning and currently is at par with the parent in terms of knowledge about her own bodily requirements. If she senses hunger she might not express it so evidently but the parent has to be watchful about signs like crankiness, distraction etc. More about encouraging healthy food habits in future blog posts.

3.       Don’t kid the kid: Most parents have a terrible hangover from the baby years and continue to baby talk with a toddler. I personally as a qualified linguist would refrain from using baby talk even with babies, but yes by toddler-hood, I would be adamant about stopping it. The fundamental understanding is, clear and articulate language usage is the final destination we are leading our children to, then wh

y take them through the maze of inane, inappropriate sounding words which mean nothing in adult conversation? The sooner and clearer the instructions the child receives in any language, the easier it is for the child to emulate that speech and speak coherently and express her needs clearly. Always converse with a toddler as you would with an adult visitor visiting your house or office. Be courteous and extremely polite with your child, never let civilized language run aground with foul words or bad tones or diction. The child is a very powerful sponge absorbing each nuance and even each lip movement you make.

4.       All play and no work makes a dull child: Parents of young children are busy people themselves. And child rearing is an unending chore by itself. By toddler-hood, it would be only fair to create a smart lil assistant in your child. No it’s not child labor here, it’s merely involving the child, making her feel important and a part of the family. Each person has a work share in the household, so does your baby! You can let her do simple tasks like fetching a spoon for granny or helping you pick up clothes or tidy the bed. You are leading the task no doubt, most of the times you are risking a double task for yourself as well, but all that is worth it, have some patience. It sure shall be rewarded one day when those scattered Lego blocks are aimed and land in the toy box, when all dolls and cars find a home in the toy shelf. Make it sound more like a game for the child than a chore and it shall be done! This implants seeds of discipline and helpfulness along with empathy in the child. She knows if she scatters her toys all over the house that means she has more trips around the house picking them up as well. And it’s a good fun activity as well!

5.       Power of silence: Well we are not always capable of raising peaceful Zen monks in our children, but when we encourage them to talk, encourage them to shout and play, we have to encourage them to be silent and observant too! If they whine and pester you each morning, ask them to just go silent and listen to the birds singing or a car whizzing by. Teach them the power of silence. During the evening stroll, while returning home, show them the stars, the moon and point out that the birds have all fallen silent, maybe fallen asleep…These connections seem small, inconsequential, but they are far more impactful than we can imagine. The child learns to connect to her peaceful side and also appreciate subtle sounds and phenomenon.

6.       Who belongs to whom? The sense of identity grows stronger as the child grows up. If she insists that mom n dad belong to her, teach her that toys belong to her, hence she must put them in place. Also if her surroundings belong to her, she must not create a mess there. This the child may or may not follow fully but you have to sow seeds of these small habits so one day when you send out your child in the world, she will have strong, well rooted habits of self-dependence, cleanliness, helpfulness.

Aren’t my kids too small for all this? Well no, they are in fact eager recipients and jinns awaiting tasks. So my dear Alladins, erm…mommies n daddies, explore the power of choices, give some amazing choices to your child, she will soon learn to not only make a choice, but also accept and live with the consequences of her choice, do not protect your child from the consequences of the choice unless it is extremely harmful or dangerous to life or limb! Because we adults operate from the focal point of caution and fear whereas children always operate from the focal point of exploration, curiosity and innocence. Nurture them to always operate from their natural focal point, one of boundless creativity and amazing potential. Trust them and respect their choices today, so that when they grow up and make choices, you are always partner in their decision, rather than another obstacle they have to overcome! Small seeds of yesterday, saplings of today will be giant sequoias of tomorrow! Happy nurturing!

How to create memories in the first year

Having kids is a joy and having kids to photograph is another type of joy! Well this is no proverb but something you learn when you become parents! All the  Anne Geddes cards and images just spring to mind and we begin thinking yes my kiddo is the cutest on the block and my am going to take such pictures n dress him/her like this etc etc! Then you realize you are pregnant and if not for morning sickness then swollen feet and puffy face sure make you realize okay am going to be out of this picture! :P Then the kid is born and the first look as memorable it might be its indeed miles apart from all the cute kids in pictures! Welcome to the unexpected! :)
Motherhood soon teaches us that the moments of capturing beautiful emotions and kids with smiling faces is such a small window of time that if you wish to actually do that, you better keep your camera ready at all times! N who is left with all that energy after a night long feeding n cooing session! But don't loose hearts new parents! Indeed pictures are just one way of creating memories of your precious bundle!
Here are a few more ideas to create memories!
Firstly let me tell you, that the idea is to capture this beautiful phase of life, and secondly its our gift to our older selves and to our grown up children! The pictures of their young lifetime!
Memories can often be captured in photographs, but are there any other ways? Lets explore them!
1. Photographs: Now a days the young one, within minutes of being born, feels the pain of a celebrity hounded by paparazzi! Just a frenzy to put the newest visitor of earth on social media! Hold on! No! Don't do that! This is the most intimate and private moment of the mother, the child and the father. Its a new life being born and a new family being born too! Let that magical moment be lived! Not merely relived through photos!Also avoid flash while photographing the child till the child has a steady eyesight, the flash can panic the child and be harmful to the child's eyes too!
What you can do as a new parent is, plan photography worthy moments, be it all the first festivals of the baby's first year of life or monthly birthdays or all Sundays in the first year of the new born! When the parents and the child is relaxed, in a comfortable atmosphere, let the mood of the baby decide what time will be good! Such long term projects often give us the flexibility and scope for innovation! But keep in mind the baby has to enjoy it as much as you do! Also such projects bring out the gradual changes happening in a baby in its first year! So than just clicking a random terabyte full of baby pictures, have a theme and work around it so you have some priceless captures to share when your baby grows up!

                                What you "wish" for....

                              What "might" just happen!! :P
2. Videos: An extension  of photography in a way! And so very different in many other ways! No these videos are not fodder for YouTube n likes but for your own memory! The first lullaby for the baby, the cooing or turning baby! The bath time routine! so many moments all waiting to be captured! Its indeed lovely to have a spontaneous collection of all these moments thanks to our new technological advancements!
3. Voice recording : This is very different from making Audiovisual snippets! If you have your mobile phone handy, young parents can always record the peculiar n repetitive sounds children tend to make! And as the months roll by there will be an audio dictionary of the child! All those first half made sounds to words to sentences...to spontaneous songs and self made poems! Its a delight to listen to all of that and also make your child listen to it all! Try doing that!
4. Clay moulds : Baby fists all rolled up! holding their future n clasping on to mom's finger! Aren't they so adorable! There are DIY kits to make moulds of kids fists n tiny feet, invest in some such kit! that is such a visual treat for life! If you don't have access to ready made moulds, next best idea is making impressions in the salt dough! Tiny handprints n footprints all ready to be preserved for life! :)
5. Scrap book album: Make a lovely scrap book containing photographs and candid stories of the baby's childhood! when did the first tiny tooth erupt! when was the tummy turn n when was the first word uttered! a mix of dates, memories and smiling faces! Indeed a neat treat for all! Add a small denomination of money to be tucked behind every photograph, so when your baby is all grown up, some major milestone birthday it might be a gift! :)
6. Painting : If you or your friends are good at sketching or painting, you should get your baby's portrait or caricature done! It would be a cute memory indeed! Am still hoping to make a pencil shaded portrait of Baby A! Trust me its a good idea to outsource this task!
7. Keepsakes : The first pair of mittens, the first dress from mom n dad! Keep some firsts away, some shoes, toys n tiny bonnets! By the time your grandkids arrive, these turn treasures in themselves! :P Also a good lesson in culture and contemporary clothing! :P Recall those bonnets you wore as a baby n how you would never have your baby wear it! or something you wish you could get from your childhood closet for your baby! Also in Indian families we sure have valuable keepsakes in form of gold n silver jewelry too! All that is also such powerful memory makers!
8. Letters to the baby: Well in this age n day of emails and social media, who writes letters, well not really those in long hand! Though am all game for old fashioned letters! But yes maybe some jottings of memory or something you so wish to share with the baby but the baby sure won't make any sense of what you are saying! So you wish the baby was an adult to understand you, your fears or joys! well go on, write notes, or letters to this little kid here for the adult that is coming up soon in your life sometime in the future! :) No its not the Kuch Kuch hota hai blooper! 8 letters to the girl! Pray how she read the first 5 letters as a baby! :P
9. Traditional memory triggers: Okay don't freak out, these are not my endorsed ideas but i know people do keep many memory triggers, like the part of the umbilical cord, the first lock of the baby's cut hair etc. If you want to, you can! But yes its an interesting yet little odd seeming way of preserving memory!
10. Plant a sapling : If you love your child and wish a lovely green future for him/her, why not plant a tree in commemoration of his/her being in your life! Each birthday can mean more trees! And this can be a yearly activity which your child will enjoy and also understand the importance of nature as he/she grows up!
There sure will be more ways of preserving memories of your children! Go ahead add some more from your list and keep creating memories! Each day holds so many of them! Don't let routines, fatigue and boredom hold you back! there is a lot of preservation work to do! Pickle the cutest memory today! :) Savor it in the years to come!

Ten things your children teach you!

Being the super crazy n meticulous person that i am, i am always planning ahead, thinking ahead and always trying to be right! When it came to motherhood; my approach was no different! Even before baby A was born i had read up about toddler discipline etc! but then came Baby A and before i knew it every plan of mine was turned on its head! the planning flew out of the window and all my meticulousness just huffed and puffed n blew away!!
But in due course of motherhood, things returned to some normalcy and soon i was back to making lists, jotting down things and planning ahead!
So here is one more list i made! well its different! this is a cute little list of ten things Baby A taught me!
1.Never cease to wonder: Be it falling leaves, pitter patter of the raindrops or mom's hairbrush! Everything is so different, unique and amazing! It demands curious attention and wonderment! Don't Google the weather, just look out of the window n if it rains just get up, get drenched n smile! Each object, person or the tiniest bit or scrap around our homes suddenly are all wonderful objects awaiting eager exploration!
2. Never stop learning: Ever watched a child learning to turn on its tummy? or trying to grab something or learning to walk?As many false starts later they still try again with amazing enthusiasm and single minded focus! Now that is what we need to recall from our childhood n use it in adulthood too! Also each new word, each new sound and the numerous times the children ask about some things...why n how we forget this gift, each one of us has deep within us?
3. Its OK to cry n go back to laughing even before your tears dry out: Venting emotions or rather letting each emotion colour us in its unique colour! What a wonderful palette we have been endowed with! N its rich and vibrant and we must put it to use! So laugh a little louder and cry a little more! there is joy in it!
4.Things should not always be held and used only as intended: How do you use a cooking pan? of course to cook but what about the pan being a drum to play some music? How do you use a comb? Of course to comb your hair! but what if you were to use it as a mock mobile phone?Just observe kids and you will find so many such funny, innovative and interesting uses of things you thought were banal and boring! Go ahead and explore!
5.Mess n chaos-learn to embrace them! : Imagine a botched up presentation, juniors on leave and boss literally glaring down at you! Nah! too stressful! Now imagine a broken toy, guests arriving in five minutes and Mom glaring down at a kid! what will the kid do? Of course just smile and be himself/herself! All the guests are cuddling up your cute (not so cute with the broken toy) bundle of joy! n no one quite notices the toy! Well one cannot simply appear cute to the boss or clients but then we can all learn to embrace the chaos and mess, can we not?

6.Wearing pink over green or purple with big yellow dots makes you look cute (or so you should believe n behave): Remember when we spend hours fretting over the right shade of lipgloss or a slightly mismatched sock?Come on sometimes its ok to be a little crazy and just enjoy each living moment, cause tomorrow you might not recall what clothes you wore, just how much fun you had! So go ahead and believe you are the cutest kid on the block n smile your best smile!
7.Eat sleep exercise n start over again!: Children totally teach us a thing or two about the energy we possess for each day! They totally keep it moving, running around the house, climbing places and of course jumping to get rid of extra energy and then eating n sleeping to regain every bit of energy! Am sure we adults have something to learn in here! :)
8.Gravity is a friend n foe but never fail to get up after a fall!: Notice a child climbing some place and falling off the perch and then crying a bit but getting back to doing the same thing again?Earlier it used to vex me, why should a child venture the place where she got hurt? But now i realize it in fact has a lesson in store for me! We take gravity so much for granted! But hey try free falling to earth or on bed! its fun, its crazy and yes its Gravity! :) But always! ALWAYS get up again n continue your play!
9.Double chins, rotund bellies, disheveled hair n one smashing smile! Wear them all with joy! : Fretting over body shapes, sizes and what not!Relax! Notice how comfortable a child is in her skin?Totally not bothered about complexion, bruises, iris colour or bad hair days! People who love you will love you anyway! Then why bother! Isn't that so simple yet true!
10.You may get mad at some things in life but each day is a brand new adventure!: You put a dog's tail through a pipe but it remained all curled up once you removed the pipe! You tried getting as tall as daddy wearing mommy's heels n smashed your face! Arrghhh life! n not to mention soggy diapers!!! Well life isn't always kind to even kids! They get mad at life too! but hey! They all bounce back! with more enthusiasm, eagerness and earnest to explore each day! To live each moment as it arrives! Am sure that we need to keep this learning with us beyond toddler hood and well into adulthood too!
11. Smile at anyone who is yelling at you and give them a hug! : Okay this is no. 11 Take it as a bonus! Try yelling at a child, the child will pout, try looking at you and eventually decide that a smile n hug is what you need! Its so annoying when you are angry! but then its so adorable! and admirable! Next time a big fight breaks out between you n your better half, try it! am sure it will work! :)
Innocence is not a childhood trait, feeling joyous is not relegated to childhood and pretense of seriousness won't last us long! I think we all get children in our lives, when we have forgotten what it means to be alive, to be innocent, to live life to its fullest! So comes along a teacher, in form of our own child...to teach us that life is indeed beautiful!

The Classic woman!!

New mommies, girl pals and my mommy generation and beyond! A shout out to you all! A big round of applause for creating each other and defining each other and getting us girls here, where we are, with  girls and boys of our own too!! Ok this is getting slightly convoluted…but am wayyyy too excited to stop here and pause! Well no! it’s no Eureka moment for me! Well it is in a way! Gosh!! This is getting so exciting and revealing at the same time I really need to get to the point!

We women, we girls are way beyond amazing! Yes we are! No I mean we are not just amazing because we think we are, but because our bodies have been programmed to be amazing, we produce children, we procreate! Now in this age of feminist undertones and alpha male overtones and what not idealistic noise, as I prefer to call it, here is something so fundamental and so basic that even I am guilty of having overlooked it completely!

When motherhood dawned upon me I first realized that something is wrong, well when I had difficulty conceiving, I felt stupid, vulnerable and helpless. I did not know whom to blame when all our tests came out normal! It was a combination of so many pressures, the pressure to outperform a habit I picked up since school days, the pressure to get what I want, the ultra independent woman way, the pressure to answer/rebut the stupid questions following X years of marriage and so many other aspects. Most of all I felt completely whacked out of my whole life harmony till then! I had always meticulously planned, worked hard and got what I wanted. And here I was, thinking creating babies, well the beggar on the street gets them too, big deal a complete low IQ thing…just happens…well was I in for a surprise? Big time!

Turns out that creating children and rearing them is the most important and intelligent of all pursuits that we can ever have! We are creating a new generation which shall stay on long after we have completed our own pursuit of ego and achievement. As a Gen Y er I too never gave as much thought to “children and all that stuff”, always thinking I can adopt big deal! But it was never about giving birth vs adopting, it was way deeper than that. It was about my own body, my own wellness and my own life! Sadly no education in the world teaches children about this biggest and single most important aspect of life! Procreation and wellness! Don’t get me wrong, mere sex education is worthless here. We need more than that -empathy and understanding of our bodies, bodily functions, their emotional, physical and physiological implications. Something as fundamental as menstruation cycles, totally thought they just were created to stop me from practicing basketball! Hell no!

They were telling me and my body a lot lot more…only I realized it all well much later when the doctors told me about it all! And for the doctor it was scant information scattered here and there, but when I realized myself that PCOS, fibroids, type two diabetes,  dysfunctional thyroid are definitely not normal occurrences, why they are like sirens wailing out from your body telling you to stop abusing it! Even irregular periods, moodiness, boredom, weak sexual desire, excess or diminished appetite, plain forgetfulness are all indicators to bigger deep set problems, we just need to fine tune into our bodies, understand what is our body trying to tell us and act likewise. Today there is a lot of information, it is empowering and we must as literate, techno-savy women empower ourselves, inform ourselves train our minds to search for all answers. No longer is health a bastion of doctors, no, it’s your body and you better take care of it! Nature has set it out so beautifully and yet in such a complex fashion, it humbles us, boggles our mind and then finally helps us get in touch with our inner selves, our bodies, and eventually our own gut feel, instinct and soul. This lovely TEDx talk opens up new possibilities in which we can view ourselves and in the future help our daughters and sons view themselves and their partners.

TEDx talk Lady parts

Being mother by giving birth or adoption is a choice under varied circumstances, but being a woman is not a choice, it’s a reality and an empowering one at it! It’s a perpetual journey towards fine tuning ourselves towards that inner rhythm which is intrinsically humming a song of creation, of existence and nurturing…be it creating children, masterpieces or business empires, be it existing for family, for society or nations, be it nurturing relationships, environment or spirituality.

Enjoy the journey of womanhood!

Responsible parenting-the fun way to grow!

Ask any new parent; hey did you catch up on the latest blockbuster? The last failed dud movie? Come let’s sit n trash it apart! Laugh at the silliness and admire the costumes…well am sure you wouldn’t even get this far in your conversation, because of course new parents cannot go to movies! Well do you recall seeing such a notice at the movie hall? Nope there isn’t any, but hey who has the time!! Bringing up babies is serious stuff…Time passes by and you forget to catch up with your new parent buddies and after a few years  if you ask them, hey did you catch up on any new movies? Sure! And guess what, they were all children’s movies!! The baby now bosses over the parent’s choice…think again! Is it so? Do you take your children to children’s movies just because the children demand so? Well then think again, which have been your favorite movies growing up? Am sure each one of us has fond memories of cartoon films and animation films from childhood. It’s gloriously delightful to share each and every nuance and experience of your own with your child…and then why are you holding back your share of favorite movies from your child?

 Just don’t do that! Share all those lovely old movies which had different messages, morals and such innocent storylines…let your children discover that magic is not gender based, each amazing character doesn’t have to be a hero, each princess doesn’t have to be rescued! Each prince doesn’t need to go out alone, trust some animals over a princess for performing any heroic deed…you can sure read between lines and discover that the plots of children’s movies have slowly fed into the children the gender bias…am sure we don’t want to raise yet another generation biased about their differences, can they not learn to be a team? Can they not learn to co-exist? Such wet cement age influences need to be not only monitored but also changed, not all can produce new movies but we can certainly search through our memories and internet to find a treasure trove of movies where the team wins, where the girls lead and don’t wait for the prince to come and rescue them! Can we have new fairy tales which are fair to both the genders please?

If you like and agree with me, here’s a nice TEDx talk about this…

TEDx talk about movies for children and their hidden messages

Travelling with a baby 0-12 months

Most mothers dread going out after having a baby! Gone are the days when you could just grab a purse or just mobile phone, keys and card and go! Well travelling with kids is the other extreme. You have to be prepared for everything and more, if you could, you wish you could carry your house along, in case you might need it too!! Well this pretty much explains why most new moms avoid travel! Not to mention the unflattering figure you might perceive yourself to be in! Well all of the above is not really true! Be proud of your mommy figure and work hard to get back in those pre-mommyhood jeans, am sure each one of us will succeed!

Now getting back to dragging your house along for travel! Good idea! Well not really! As far as I was concerned, the nomadichic in me could not sit at home for long, within the first three months of mandated rest I was up and riding a motorcycle, a car and was really aching to do my first trip with Baby A!

First few times I literally took the home with me except the walls! But I learned quickly that the babies really don’t need everything! Just a bit of each thing! Okay whatever does this mean! :P

Here are some common things which a mommy on the go always needs to have on person no matter how long or short her travel is! In case of short travel, this becomes an exhaustive list, in case of long travel, it becomes her go-to bag!

Diaper bag essentials

1.      Diaper bag: I too used a lovely cute diaper bag for a while, It’s pretty handy but soon I graduated to carrying a backpack! Its way more convenient and easy to carry! The diaper bag can be used over a shoulder or used as a sling bag but in case you have to carry your baby in your hands, then this bag suddenly becomes very unwieldy! A backpack is very well balanced on your back and the weight is evenly distributed on your shoulders so you don’t have aching shoulders or cramps in your back, apart from having to carry the baby as well! But each mother can have different needs and she knows best her needs and style quotient too! J

2.      Inside the bag! : Well diapers essentially, cloth diapers or regular ones depending up on what you prefer for your tiny one’s tush! How many is the golden question here! Well, generally babies require a diaper every 4-6 hours and if their potty timings are pretty irregular, you would want to carry a few more! Depending on the number of hours you will be out, always carry diapers accordingly and just add 2 more to the count in case you feel the need to! For example you have changed the baby’s diapers just before leaving home and you shall be driving for 5 hours with two breaks in between, carry 3 diapers, one in case you really find the diaper filled in the due course of the journey and 2 more in case you really need to use them! But it is unnecessary burden to tug along the entire case of diapers for each and every journey. I have a small tote, which holds 2 diapers, a small packet of wet wipes, disposable bags, diaper rash cream tube, small plastic sheet and a small toy. This is the only thing I carry on most trips around the city. I rarely have needed more than that!

In case of long trips, it would be ideal to have this tote or small bag, and additional 5 diapers in the bag. Remaining diapers can either be stashed inside the big luggage bag or ideally brought at the nearest supermarket at your destination. This saves a lot of space and weight while travelling.

3.      Wet wipes: They come handy for so many situations! Just carry a small packet in your regular tote and put a larger box inside your main luggage in case of long distance travel.

4.      Small plastic sheet: This comes handy when you are not sure of the surroundings where you shall lay down the baby to change, even at airport changing stations, it’s better to have your own plastic sheet, (which you duly wash when at home) before laying down the baby.

5.      Disposable bags: I have found the pet poop bag dispenser better than the designed for human version! :P it’s easy to find one in most places and pretty light weight. You may choose to get a regular baby diaper disposable  bag dispenser!

6.      Small toy: Always carry a small toy which makes a small interesting sound and can be held by the baby. A small wooden or plastic rattle is your best bet! When you are changing the baby, it might try and turn or simply cry…you have too many things to pay attention to at that time, so you’d rather give this tiny toy to your baby to entertain itself while you get the work done! Works like a wonder if the toy is known to the baby.

In addition to these basics you can keep adding stuff to the mommy tote for long term trips, a few long trip essentials are

1.      Baby carrier: Trust me till your baby is over 20 lbs it’s your best bet! I totally love my beco baby carrier!* It came in interesting print and color, the baby loved its feel and it was so easy and comfy to carry! I have used it on numerous plane journeys, on walks, trails and even treks! Yes I have trekked with Baby A through dense woods which ended in a waterfall! And she was nearly 22 lbs that time! It’s easy and fun and always worth it! And while travelling by any mode of public transport from buses to planes always wear your baby! never carry the carrier in luggage! You can thank me for that later! :P

On a trek with Baby A in the carrier!

Do your research well, get a carrier which is not too bulky, you can wear it yourself alone without any assistance, be sure all the buckles and clasps are of high quality and snap perfectly in place, there are no poor stitches which might come off during use.

Also the material should not only look good but also be breathable. It’s always better to get a cotton based carrier; you can clothe the baby according to weather rather than having a bulky weather-proof carrier.

2.      Stroller: The most light and effective stroller worked well for me. Just the plain fold able wonder with basic hood and safety features. I was looking for a stroller that I can easily carry through airports and fit into overhead bins of a plane if there was a need to…Strollers come in various sizes, shapes and wheel arrangements. If you see yourself travelling frequently via planes or public transport, the small fold able strollers are your best bet, in case of local travel, jogger strollers or the bulky weather-proof ones should be great. Depending on your most encountered road conditions and weather conditions you should buy a stroller to keep your baby safe and riding smoothly in the stroller. Always keep one cuddly toy stashed in the stroller for the baby to play with in case the baby is bored with the sights around or it can double up as a pillow in case the tiny one decides to take a nap!

3.      Spare clothes: Spare clothes for the baby are the obvious but surprise surprise, keep a spare set of mom/dad clothes too in your travel tote. Why? Well if you are travelling with the baby, it’s bound to delightfully smear gooey applesauce, some milk burped off or some such icky thing on your clothes too! And no one quite likes to smell of formula or milk or applesauce, if they did, they’d make perfumes of such smells! Gahh!! :P

So my dearies always keep a spare shirt or tee-shirt for you as well while travelling.

4.      Small engaging toys: The gizmo age generation quite entertains itself with numerous smart phone apps! They are delightful and saviors in so many situations but then again, there better be some engaging toys when the phone batteries decide to die! Ha ha! Just carry one or two of them and if it is a long trip, carry a few more in the main luggage and keep rotating the toys so the baby feels it has something new each day.

5.      Small blankets or wraps: Keep one of these goody wraps in your tote, it can be the small baby blanket when the baby dozes off or something to quickly place your baby on to, in case you need to change the baby in airport or strange bathrooms, also if you breastfeed and need an extra cover, just tuck this blanket’s edge in your shirt close to your neck and voila you have a quick breastfeeding cover!

6.      Baby food: Okay! This one was pretty easy and forgettable for me! I breastfed baby A till she turned one! So I was the on-the-go snacking station for her, helped her n me a lot through all those flights, the take offs and landings have been a dream! She could easily snuggle close to me and also drinking milk kept her from crying and the air pressure change did not affect her. Not breastfeeding? feel odd about breastfeeding in public? well for starters you shouldn't feel so! It’s your baby’s birthright. In case of your baby being on formula it would be ideal to carry a thermos of warm water and dry formula, so you can mix it on the go. In case of air travel, they will allow you to carry one flask or thermos but there are always Starbucks outlets, they sell you full fat milk and spare some warm water too! You can always buy distilled water in case you run out of boiled water for the baby! :)Always carry some disposable liquid soap, a bottle brush and two milk bottles and one water bottle for the baby. The soap and brush come handy to rinse off the bottles in the long journey. And in case your baby is already on cow milk, just carry ice-packs and buy milk on the go. Pour the milk directly from the milk carton into the bottle and adjust for water quantity in case you add water to the milk or else the baby can directly have milk without warming it as you’d do at home. Just ensure you buy pasteurized whole milk. Carry one snack like raisins or gelatin sweets in your tote as emergency distractions. For other snack ideas refer to my blog post on Home-made baby food  here.

I also found the new squeeze food packets very handy while travelling i found Happy baby and Plum organics very safe n relatively chemical free!*. In case you use them, keep a small baby bib and spoon handy!

This is a long post, of course reading a long post once is lot easier than lugging around the whole house!

A few more parting tips

Carry essential medicines for the baby in case of overseas travel or any journey longer than one day. Also always try and follow the food and sleep timings of the baby even across time zones. For e.g. you are travelling from say India time zone to any other, as a mom or primary care-giver always keep your wrist watch on India time and follow that as your baby’s time-keeper till you reach your destination and have slept through one night in the new time zone, then slowly shift the baby to the local time zone.

Happy travelling! It’s easy and beyond all of this above its your own positive enthusiasm that carries you through! Read on my own semi-horrific travel misadventure with my baby on my blog nomadichic: Homecoming…it still did not deter me from travelling so much with Baby A, it’s always a delight!!!Read here about another delightful travel tale with baby A Trek on baby!

* I have not been paid to endorse any of the brands mentioned above! It is a happy recommendation after using these products over a period of time!

The Mom Song!

I have been really not keeping up with my blogs regularly, am sorry about that! Just a wee bit system failure on the home turf! All my plans keep coming apart dang! Being mom is not all that easy! And does it get any better from where I stand? Well we’ll see! Being the CEO of our homes n hearths is no easy task and requires as much planning as it requires running a company! Ok maybe more! Your investments come out of your heart and soul! So the stakes are really high up there!!

And so finally while I key in this post, at this very moment my lil one is out there ravaging my closet, which I put in order for the 199^th time since yesterday! Okay exaggerating! But please get the point! Toddlers are so filled with energy and curiosity that nothing is more exciting than doing that-what-is-told-as-do-NOT-do!! Be it chewing mom’s slippers, eating off the floor! Yay! Better immunity! Be it ravaging mom’s closet, tearing newspapers-the unread ones that is! Be it snacking on leaves from the garden or any weird thing you could have never thought of! Well, the toddler is sure to have not only thought of it but acted likewise as well!!

I have a self decided no-yell policy with Baby A, but now-a-days am more like erring on the wrong side of it, it gets crazy to just walk in a room to see all freshly ironed clothes, suddenly crumpled again without even wearing them once! Just to see your favorite make-up all over the bathroom floor! A drenched toddler who emerges from the self bath only to sit merrily on the bed! So voila you have soaked bedding, bed and a baby who might catch cold!! N NO you are not supposed to YELL!!! Why be Buddha when you can be Mom!!

So why all this ranting on this blog! My mom sob day is here! Ta da!! Well nope thank you! This is fun and challenging me too!!

Just wanted to share this fun rap I found for today’s post!

The MOM SONG!! Totally loved it! Here it is for all of you!

Thanks to Wellness Mama, I found the song on her super wonderful blog!

Enjoy!!

We, the women

Being a daughter, wife and mother, I think life has now come the full circle. Being a mother brought a lot of awareness into my life. I was never aware of nutrition, wellness and overall developmental stages of humans and now I have a treasure trove of information to guide me on my journey of bringing up my daughter. I think it is very important to raise children with utmost awareness, they are your direct contribution to society, its wellbeing or destruction depending upon how you have raised your child. As mothers the responsibility lies on us to raise the collective consciousness of society, sow hope, love and empathy in young hearts so that the society of the future is filled with blossoming hope, love and empathy! That makes our role as parents very vital and very important. Given the sweeping changes in the world around us, sometimes we ourselves are mired with confusion, in conflict with our values and ethics. We are riddled with changing economic dynamics, changing relationship equations and our own bodies and souls. Then how can we ever focus on the child? Well there lies the answer. Collect our own lives, tidy up our routines, fill them with laughter, smiles, songs and exercise! Because children won’t listen, they will emulate…they will mimic their immediate environment. So instead of cursing the world around, becoming more mistrusting and sorrowful we have to make the best use of this opportunity we have, to contribute meaningfully to society in the present and the future.

Being a mother to a daughter has its own joys and worries! But when I find myself confused about my own career path, my own ambitions and reality, I doubted how can ever tell Baby A that go ahead, dream on! Achieve what you want to…

I have been in a process of seeking answers for myself and on my way I have found some real inspiring bits…today am sharing them all for all other parents around me, it lovely to know what other mothers think do and believe!

http://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/gayle_tzemach_lemmon_women_entrepreneurs_example_not_exception.html

And lastly this wonderful movie/documentary which i insist each mother should see, to understand that if we human mothers were compared to other animal mothers, we sure have a lot to learn from them! How they take care of their young ones and how they are prepared to kill and die in order to give their young ones the hope of life! 'To the arctic' is a story of a polar bear mother with twin bears and how she leads them through the most wild, unforgiving landscape left on earth, to survival, to hope and life! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVD4VhdNo1A

Hope we keep learning a lot along this wonderful journey of motherhood!

Hospital bag – Essentials

Finally all the trimesters are over and the D-day is round the corner, you will be in labor and as if by magic everything will be fine! Well nice to know that! But hello!! We live in a real world with real needs, for the new mother and child! So than sending the family running out to buy stuff or even get things from home, make the most of your hospital stay, the first few hours and days with the newborn! Plan ahead! Simply!

Around the end of month 8, it is a good time to start packing your hospital bag tentatively.

Just keep putting in things, and finally when your final delivery date and schedule is confirmed by your doctor, pack the bag completely and ensure that your spouse or parent who is accompanying you to the hospital is aware of what all has been packed and in which order. So that you don’t have to divide your attention again, hunting for trivial things, when all you wish to do is give complete attention to your child!

If every trip, every journey requires planning and packing bags, this is a super journey for life, so packing and planning are very much a part of it!

According to the Indian belief, new clothes and baby things are not to be purchased before the birth of the child. But today we can clearly rationalize that this belief must have stemmed from a pure economic perspective, poverty and high infant mortality rate at that time. Today such is not the case, all your tests are periodically done, the fetal growth is charted methodically and medical care is always at hand, so keep aside your anxiety and fears and shop the basic essentials for your baby or gratefully accept hand me downs.

But do not overdo anything, all cute fanciful things, frilly clothes, shiny shoes…hold them all! The baby is going to be quite small, with extremely delicate skin, you need to select the softest and most firm fabric for your baby clothes. According to the season you can pack in more or less warm clothes, woolens, but do not omit them ever from your bag. Even summer babies, they need more warmth than grown ups!

Now to the actual bag packing, firstly understand that there will be two sections to your stuff.

One is clothing and essentials for the new mother, the other are clothing and essentials for the new born baby.

Hospitals will provide gowns and sanitary napkins for new mothers, but for your own comfort I would suggest carrying your own gowns and sanitary napkins.
Now here is the list of things for new mothers

List of Essentials for the Mother-To-Be

1.     2 nursing gowns

2.     2 nursing bras

3.     Minimum 3 pairs of Washable breast pads

4.     Maternity sanitary napkins

5.     Maternity sanitary pants

6.     Slippers

7.     Breast Pump (optional)

8.     Nipple Shields (if recommended-Buy only Madela)

9.     4 panties

10.  Disposable glasses

11.  1 Plate, bowl, spoon, thermos, knife

12.  2 ltr water bottle with water

13.  2 Face towels

14.   Bathroom kit (Soap, Toothbrush, Toothpaste)

15.  Cosmetic Kit (Comb, powder, cream etc)

This list is pretty exhaustive in itself. Do not add too many fancy items to this. You are not going shopping or travelling to a tourist destination, but going to a hospital. Focus on comfort and durability. It’s cute to have a light pink or baby blue gown n some neat polka dotted dress a la Princess Kate…

but no, recall your worst menstruation period, with heavy bleeding and magnify it thrice that is the kind of flow you might have after delivery. After all its 9 months of no periods, so is it some revenge! Nah! This is not your regular periods, this is lochia the blood loss you will have after delivery. It is more likely you will spoil your initial gowns, so have some sturdy cotton gowns with darker shades or big prints, in case of staining. After the first two or three days, once you gauge your fitness levels and lochia flow, bring on the pastel shades! J

If you need to add your mobile phone, your music player to this list you may do it! But I would suggest in the last week before delivery or at least 2 days before your due-date had over your phone to your spouse or parents, and focus on the major event in your life, do not be distracted by trivial and material pursuits which can wear you down. So generally avoid watching TV or getting chatty on the phone etc.

Now the list for the baby

 List of Essentials for the Baby-To-Be

1.     3-4 Full Jumpsuits( with socks)

2.     Minimum 6 onesies or baby shirts

3.     Minimum 6 cloth diapers or baby swaddlers

4.     1 Quick dry sheet

5.     1 mackintosh sheet ( for potty cleaning time)

6.      Diapers (New Born Size, Small pack)
(If in India prefer buying Huggies diapers, for the first 3 months because they fit well to the Indian baby’s smallish tush! ;))

7.     4 pairs of mittens

8.     4 pairs of socks

9.     5 cotton sheets for baby cribs/ bed (washed and free of any residual soap etc)

10.  3-4 baby caps

11.  1 small bowl and spoon, 1 small bottle for feeding in case latching takes time

12.  Cotton Bundle / Baby Wipes for cleaning potty

13.  2 Baby wraps/ Swaddle cloths

14.  Baby’s Mosquito Net (Applies if there are mosquitoes in your region)

15.  Bathroom kit ( baby soap, cream, oil, diaper rash cream, hair brush, powder)
( Soap, oil, cream, diaper rash cream, Powder )

16.  Cotton sheets  for cushioning the baby cot ( to cover over  what the hospital provides)

You should also ask your spouse to pack charged camera batteries, camera equipment, essential contacts list on paper, list of people you wish to first inform about your baby’s birth and also all your hospital records neatly filed and kept aside for emergency reference. This is very important that this file is handy for your doctor to refer. You may keep a cardigan or knitted jacket for your own self in case you feel cold after delivery.
Also request your visitors, friends and relatives to avoid coming in for the first 3 days after delivery if possible. So you have maximum time for your baby to bond, to let all the reality of parenthood sink into you. Also in case it is not possible, request visitors to stick to the visitor timings of the hospital. And never wake the baby when there are visitors, unless the child is awake. Young babies need a lot of sleep and rest in order to grow well. The baby has endured a long journey to be in your arms. Baby photos n displays can and must wait till about a week after childbirth. Also the very first pictures of your baby are indeed treasures! But on a side note, avoid using flash while taking pictures of your baby. Insist on that each and every time someone wants to click a picture of your child. The eyes of small babies are still adjusting to light, after being in the womb for 9 long months; they are still gaining control over their optic nerves. Sudden flash startles the baby and confuses the response generated. Hold off the flash until your child is about 6 months old and has a steady gaze.

So pack in advance, enjoy the actual trip to the hospital, cradle your most creative creation in your arms and smile! Rest a while, thank Mother Nature for this wonderful journey till delivery and brace for motherhood, the world’s most challenging and often understated job!

All the best!