After a long hiatus I have returned to the blogosphere for
good! J
It feels nice to be back to that happy space, it feels home!
I have been away trying to recreate a level playing field
for myself, shall continue to do so, n now back to what we all do best,
talking about childcare.
Soon, very soon, Baby A turns 2! And boy am I excited?? Sure
as hell! I am! Beyond the mythical ‘’terrible twos’’ I am eagerly looking
forward to see my baby grow!
After baby A turned 18 months old, I noticed a few significant changes in her! Her personality was slowly emerging.
Each trait was showing eager signs of growing much like young saplings. I
realized I have to nurture a few habits and traits and weed out a few unpleasant
ones and that pretty much is like gardening. Most young parents face this time,
when children become increasingly independent yet at the same time, increasing
clingy to their parents. When such a time arrives, along come whining,
crankiness, bouts of temper tantrums and absolute stubborn behavior! Grocery
aisles become nightmares, social occasions and long flights are some terrible
dream come true for most parents. The cute coy baby is now an independent
person with extreme ambitions and severe limitations. Parents also take time to
realize and realign themselves to this change.
When baby A showed signs of being independent, I was happy
and was keen on playing along on these lines. I did a few things which am
sharing here.
1.
Walk the talk baby! When your child takes her
first few steps, each parent is thrilled beyond measure, always encouraging the
child to walk, take a few more steps. Within a few months the child begins to
walk and run, then suddenly the ever encouraging parent is tightly holding the
child’s hand, least she runs away! This adult behavior is extremely confusing
for children! What we need to do here is, set in a few fun rules, when you walk
on black road or the road where cars run, hold momma’s hand. And in parks and
gardens you can run by yourself. Same applies while teaching the child how to
walk and also after the child walks independently. So there is some sensible
continuation to your demands on the child. Do not worry about your child
soiling her clothes, or falling down when running around in the gardens or safe
areas. That is how she will learn to depend on herself, which is very vital, literally and figuratively as well.
2.
Making choices: Mothers often see smartly
dressed kids and feel embarrassed about their child’s messy dress. Well, as
much the baby was a cute doll to be dressed up as a child, once the child is
about an age where she begins expressing her likes, dislikes and feelings, it
will be very important to slowly encourage to child to decide. Yes! never
underestimate a child, her decision making power and ability. It is the beginning
of a lifelong task, of making choices. Tend to this sapling well, you want it
to grow and blossom! Ask your toddler’s opinion about the dress she wants to
wear, about the food she wants to eat and be supportive about her choices. Baby
A recently wore snow boots over a full sleeved black shirt n jeans on a very
warm day! Well my first reaction was protest, but I realized that she now needs
to learn the consequences of the choices she makes. She must have been really
hot and sweaty that day in school but now she chooses wisely and picks cute
shorts and summer dresses. Now the trick here is to present the child with
sensible choices. That is how easy you can make for your child, but do not dump
your choices on the child after a certain age, n no its not 21! Same goes for
food, if your child chooses to eat less or nothing at a particular meal time,
its ok to go hungry than dissolve the meal in tears and unnecessary stress for
the parent. And going hungry is not any imposed punishment for the child, it’s
a choice she made. Then abide by her choice because she is learning and
currently is at par with the parent in terms of knowledge about her own bodily
requirements. If she senses hunger she might not express it so evidently but
the parent has to be watchful about signs like crankiness, distraction etc. More about encouraging healthy food habits in future blog posts.
3.
Don’t kid the kid: Most parents have a terrible
hangover from the baby years and continue to baby talk with a toddler. I
personally as a qualified linguist would refrain from using baby talk even with
babies, but yes by toddler-hood, I would be adamant about stopping it. The
fundamental understanding is, clear and articulate language usage is the final
destination we are leading our children to, then wh
4.
All play and no work makes a dull child: Parents
of young children are busy people themselves. And child rearing is an unending
chore by itself. By toddler-hood, it would be only fair to create a smart lil
assistant in your child. No it’s not child labor here, it’s merely involving
the child, making her feel important and a part of the family. Each person has
a work share in the household, so does your baby! You can let her do simple
tasks like fetching a spoon for granny or helping you pick up clothes or tidy
the bed. You are leading the task no doubt, most of the times you are risking a
double task for yourself as well, but all that is worth it, have some patience.
It sure shall be rewarded one day when those scattered Lego blocks are aimed
and land in the toy box, when all dolls and cars find a home in the toy shelf.
Make it sound more like a game for the child than a chore and it shall be done!
This implants seeds of discipline and helpfulness along with empathy in the
child. She knows if she scatters her toys all over the house that means she has
more trips around the house picking them up as well. And it’s a good fun
activity as well!
5.
Power of silence: Well we are not always capable
of raising peaceful Zen monks in our children, but when we encourage them to
talk, encourage them to shout and play, we have to encourage them to be silent
and observant too! If they whine and pester you each morning, ask them to just
go silent and listen to the birds singing or a car whizzing by. Teach them the
power of silence. During the evening stroll, while returning home, show them
the stars, the moon and point out that the birds have all fallen silent, maybe
fallen asleep…These connections seem small, inconsequential, but they are far
more impactful than we can imagine. The child learns to connect to her peaceful
side and also appreciate subtle sounds and phenomenon.
6.
Who belongs to whom? The sense of identity grows
stronger as the child grows up. If she insists that mom n dad belong to her,
teach her that toys belong to her, hence she must put them in place. Also if
her surroundings belong to her, she must not create a mess there. This the
child may or may not follow fully but you have to sow seeds of these small
habits so one day when you send out your child in the world, she will have
strong, well rooted habits of self-dependence, cleanliness, helpfulness.
Aren’t my kids too small for all this? Well
no, they are in fact eager recipients and jinns awaiting tasks. So my dear
Alladins, erm…mommies n daddies, explore the power of choices, give some
amazing choices to your child, she will soon learn to not only make a choice,
but also accept and live with the consequences of her choice, do not protect
your child from the consequences of the choice unless it is extremely harmful
or dangerous to life or limb! Because we adults operate from the focal point of
caution and fear whereas children always operate from the focal point of
exploration, curiosity and innocence. Nurture them to always operate from their
natural focal point, one of boundless creativity and amazing potential. Trust
them and respect their choices today, so that when they grow up and make
choices, you are always partner in their decision, rather than another obstacle
they have to overcome! Small seeds of yesterday, saplings of today will be
giant sequoias of tomorrow! Happy nurturing!
0 comments:
Post a Comment